Sunday, November 07, 2010


A friend of mine wrote this. Please give him some encouragement to keep writing.

I found you there, in my dream,
Standing on oaken tower stairs.
You were walking up toward me
Pausing only one step away, just to smile.

I wasn't sure, having just only arrived,
Why it was we were there in that space.
I only knew that as the clouds swam
Through the air and your eyes, I was Home.

In an ageless moment I took in the way the Helios glint
Washed soft over your smooth, tinted skin,
And the dance He played on your long burnished hair
Was akin to his twilight gasp on dark water.

I had known you for seconds and all of my life
By the gentleness coming forth from your eyes.
The purse of your lips as they stepped up from below
Soon met mine in a tender embrace.

My soul sang with your warmth as you drew close,
Our arms drawing us tenderly tight.
For all of my life I have sought such a connection
To bring meaning to dark, empty nights.

This was a Dream, and yet what is real?
I asked myself quietly as I awoke.
I turned to the window and out to the Night
Wondering your name, and if you lie awake, touched.

copyright 2010 by Nathan Frens. All rights reserved.

Wednesday, November 03, 2010


I did not write this, but I think it's very good. I finally got an OK to post it.

As he watches the curtain fall
His life and his dreams torn
He feels his love and lust call
Alas he thinks, Nevermore

One last valiant effort he gives
Complete with roses and rhyme
He professes without her he cannot live
Nothing he does can undo what happened over time

He experiences remorse and regret
He has no hatred for soulmates have none
The love he lost he can never forget
He hopes and he dreams once again two will be one

Try and try again there is no surrender
He sees her confusion and for solution he vows
There is no use he is not a pretender
The strength of his love not even heaven knows

He shows her paths to an answering
She is receptive to his changes and newness
He recalls the choices and all the meandering
He reassures it is nothing new but mearly self awareness

Once again she shares a loving kiss
She thanks him for his compassion and caring
He is reminded of what he painfully does miss
Alas the curtain may fall but for true love there is no comparing

copyright 2010 by PEKubiak. All rights reserved.

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Orange and a Car

We had this assignment in school and I think it turned out "cute". lol.

Orange is a citrus fruit that we eat, and a car is wheeled motor vehicle which we use for transportation. They don’t sound anything alike you might think, or do they? They are similar in so many ways, but most people will never think of it when you just mention the actual words. You need to look much deeper into both to realize how different they appear to be, and yet how similar they really are. Both of these items might be orange in color, and many cars can also smell like oranges. Oranges originated in Southeast Asia, and so did many car models. Orange is round in shape, and lately many car models have very rounded shapes to them.

Just recently I was visiting some relatives in Japan, and we decided to go visit a car show. Let’s talk about some amazing eye candy here, but I have to admit my favorite was the Orangemobile. When I saw it, I just had to check into this. They were even offering test drives. Of course my friend and I had to go for one. Orangemobile goes from 0 mi/hr to 65 mi/hr in 4.6 seconds. The outside shell of the car looks just like an orange, the fruit. The paint has texture on it to resemble the actual peel. When you open the door to get in, it looks like you are peeling an orange. The interior is orange in color and the seats are actually gel filled. The interior smells very citrusy. Driving the Orangemobile actually makes you hungry for some juicy fruit.

You see, they seem to be very different at a first glance, but the new technology was able to combine the two and make it very enjoyable for us, the consumers. If nothing else, both of these things make us happy. One satisfies our hunger for a healthy meal and the other satisfies our hunger for speed. In this wonderful world you just have to believe that anything is possible.

copyright 2010 by Sanela Kubiak. All rights reserved.

from "Afterglow"

... The touch of his hands was burning my skin. I felt his touch deep inside me; I felt it inside my soul... I couldn't comprehend exactly what was happening, but I knew I didn't want it to stop, ever. I yearned for his touch for so long, I wanted him... All of him... I closed my eyes and took in this feeling. I felt it with my whole body. I always wanted to remember.

I opened my eyes and looked at him. At that moment our gazes locked, he was holding my face in his hands and before I could realize what was happening, he kissed me...His lips touched mine; his fingers went through my hair and stayed there inside my curls. I could feel his hand go down to my neck and it kept sliding down my back, caressing my skin under the layers of clothing I was wearing. His hand stopped at my waist and he pulled me closer to him. He never stopped kissing me. My hands moved against my will and ended up in his hair. My fingers locked there. I couldn't stop myself, I tried... He kept kissing me again and again. His kisses reached deep inside my soul. I was lost. Time did not exist anymore. It was just him and me. His kisses and my desire. My desire that took over my body and my mind and every little piece of my soul. I was lost somewhere in time. Someplace only your deepest thoughts and desires can take you. I couldn't breathe... His lips were so gentle yet burning with desire and his kiss... his kiss was so sweet, so passionate... Nothing I have ever imagined before could come even close to what I felt. He stopped kissing me while his arms were still wrapped around me. I caught my breath for the moment...

copyright 2010 by Sanela Kubiak. All rights reserved.

Monday, November 01, 2010

The River Paradise

It was little over a year ago, in August of 2008 when I first went down by the river. It was my friend Amy whom I met on “Evansville Moms” just couple of weeks before who called me to go out and have lunch with her and actually meet in person. She was a newcomer to Indiana as much as I was. I came to live in Newburgh with my family just a month prior and she had already been there for three months. After we were done eating she asked me if I knew about the little thrift stores located in the downtown Newburgh.
“No” I replied. I didn’t even know where downtown was located.
“You want to go now?” she suggested.

That was enough for me. I eagerly accepted the offer. I followed her in my car and I tried to remember the way so I could get back home. It turned out to be a straight shot from where we were. We visited all the stores in the downtown area and I got really excited about “The Secret Garden” store. I still go to that store from time to time just to check all the new merchandise and of course to daydream. But it wasn’t until she took me all the way down State Road where it crosses Water Street that I completely got lost in the beauty of the river front.

I stood there on the edge of the little cement wall under this beautiful gigantic tree which was so full and so green, that you could not see any light peek through the branches. This gorgeous tree stood there on top of that steep hill, an epitome of time. To the left of me there were eight sets of stairs, each set made up of ten steps that lead down to the shore. I stood there blinded by the beauty surrounding me. I watched the sun reflect from murky water. The gentle breeze constructed the ripples in the river which in return fashioned the dancing sunshine over the surface. The sky was lovely shade of darker blue with large white clouds sporadically placed across. I even saw one that resembled a dolphin. It made me smile. I took a deep breath which gave me this resilient feeling of calmness. I knew I was coming back to this place.

The next time I decided to visit the river it was autumn. Beautiful earth colors encircled me. I stood there in amazement looking up at the immense tree. The leaves were now beautiful shades of red and yellow with some green ones showing through. I wouldn’t say it was exceedingly windy but it was definitely windswept. The murmur of rather dry leaves swaying in the tree and others fallen and dancing on the ground was very familiar and yet so new again. The color of the river remained the same, muddy and still wavy and hoven. I couldn’t tell which way it was going. This time the sky was gray with infrequent sunlight coming through. The clouds were darker gray and flowing rather fast up there. But the feeling stayed the same. I was at peace.

For the next couple of weeks life got busy, there was a lot to do in a new place. During this time there was this yearning urge to go back to the river front and this time I wanted to share my experience.
“Hey Alice, come with me, I want to show you something!!!” I told her one day.
“Where are we going?” she whispered.
I smiled, “Come and you will see”.
Needless to say, Alice fell in love with this enchanted place too. It was a mutual agreement between us to start walking right here along the side of the river. We walked every day for about an hour and half. This became “Our Special Place”. We talked, we walked and we bonded. Our schedule changed and we switched to walking at night. Usually it was just the two of us there at night. Not many people are around during night hours. Nights here were very different…

This particular night we came for a walk and we went on, like we normally do. It was very cold and we walked faster than usual. Half way down our path it just became slightly creepy. The air became stagnant and eerie. We heard strange noises, creeks in the naked branches of the trees, unfamiliar squeaks of an animal. There was wailing coming from afar. We kept looking back thinking someone was following us. The cold wind on our face had burning sensation. After a brisk walk we turned around to go back home. Even though the night gave us adrenalin rush we still felt we belonged there. After all it was our place. As we approached a fenced part of the walk we saw a man in his late thirties sitting on the bench and smiling at us. I smiled back as I was passing by him. We walked about 15 feet and we stopped to take a look at the river. The water was dark, almost black and calm. It stood there as an immense, smooth sheet of glass. Something made me turn around to look at the man that was sitting near us. He wasn’t there. I looked in every direction and could not find him. He disappeared.

Another night as we walked a little kitten ran into us. Alice actually walked right into it. He had bright white spotless fur. He let us pick him up and carry him. Very interesting thing about him, he had six toes on his front paws. A strange thing happened next. This little kitten started following us. It walked with us for about three miles. The few people who happened to be there were amazed at how trained he was. I kept telling everyone it was not my cat. We couldn’t resist, we named him Max. A couple tried to get him to go in the car with them, Max followed them but stopped in his tracks right next to my car. He smelled around the car, left his mark and came straight back and joined us for the rest of our walk. Mind you, we were about 100 feet from the car. It was later we heard from some locals that the place where we walk is haunted.

So, I sit here today, 17 months later, in my car and I keep thinking about all the “cool and extraordinary” things I have seen and experienced here and I smile. Rain keeps falling from the sky and everything is sort of gloomy and dark. I watch the rain drops fall and make a beautiful design on the windshield of my car. The river is disturbed, its high tide is reaching up as if to scream ‘look at me, take notice, relish moments like these “. Even though I am not a huge fan of rainy, melancholy days I truly can appreciate the beauty of this place. It gives me immense peace and calmness. When I need to clear my head I come here. As soon as I get stressed and just need some quiet I come here. I cannot explain why, but I am taken by the astonishing beauty of this place and I keep returning to the River Paradise.

“There is always light at the end of the tunnel”, I would say. Even though things sometimes appear to be very dark and scary I try to find at least one good, positive thing in my life and I focus on that. It can be as simple as sunny day, or someone smiled at me at the grocery store, or sometimes I just tell myself “It’s going to be a great day today”, and I try to remember that throughout the day. We all need “something” to get us through, something we can take in and carry on through our days. That something we can only find within ourselves. No one person can tell us what it is, it is different for everyone. This river brings me the peace I need in some of darkest times in my life, but first and foremost you need to look deep inside your soul to find it. As one of my favorite songs “The Greatest Love of All” by George Benson says:

“… I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity
Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all
And if by chance, that special place
That you've been dreaming of
Leads you to a lonely place
Find your strength in love.”

copyright 2010 by Sanela Kubiak. All rights reserved.

Coffee for Three

One warm Wednesday evening my best friend and I decided to be taken out for a cup of coffee by a Shear Genius, as he likes to call himself. My friend Alice and I drove to the nearest Starbucks to meet up with our friend. We arrived there just a little after 7 pm and he planned on coming shortly after work. We sat outside to wait for him so we could order together. As I existed in the moment, I took a closer look at the things surrounding me; rain dwindled to a drizzle now, the air felt a little “sticky”, and every once awhile I would get a whiff of flowers. I could smell the sweet coffee aroma coming out from Starbucks too. As I watched cars go by, driving through the puddles which made water come to life, I thought to myself, everybody is trying to get home for dinner. Everyone wants to reunite with their family after a hard day of work.

Shear Genius came at 7:30 pm and apologized for making us wait. No big deal really, but we were ready to get that appetizing cup of gourmet coffee. The inside of Starbucks remained full of people and I wondered why they all stayed inside. After we ordered our coffee we went back outside to enjoy it. We sat there for an hour or so, just talking and laughing and truly enjoying those little moments that make life so wonderful. After all, that warm Wednesday night happened to stand out as a very beautiful, calm, rainy night spent with friends who appreciate the good things in life.

copyright 2010 by Sanela Kubiak. All rights reserved.

“The Act of Writing”

“There is no ‘right’ method. Any method that will do the job is the right method for you.” I could not agree with this statement more. As long as I can remember I have loved to write, and I guess I had a unique way of doing it. I need my favorite music playing in the background as I write. That is the only way I can do it. Most people don’t understand it, especially when they hear my music is not in English.

There are the benefits for writers when they use a word processor. When I was younger, in primary school, I had many of my notebooks all around house with my writing in them. These days I use my computer for all my writing, mostly because it is so much easier to edit. But every once in a while I will take a pen and a notebook and pour my thoughts on paper. It just feels good to go back to the basics.

So, Welcome my friends, I hope some of my writings give you a little bit of pleasure reading them, because I sure am having fun writing them. Please leave some comments for me too, constructive criticism has never hurt anyone.