LOVE YOU

I’m going to love you baby

Like you’ve never been loved before

I’m going to kiss your sweet lips

As you open your front door

I’m gonna rip off your shirt and love you on the floor

I’m gonna love you sweet darling

Like I’ve never loved you before

I’m gonna take you places you’ve never been

Babe, we’ll fly so high together

In our hearts LOVE will win

I’m gonna show you true love, your soul will soar

We’re gonna love each other baby

Like we’ve never loved before.

copyright 2012 by Sanela Kubiak. All rights reserved.

Timeless Love

I love you more than anyone else ever could.

I love you in a different way than anyone else would,

But you make me sad when you look at me with those eyes

And I remember that you're not mine...

 

Then I think of what it could be

The love in my eyes if only you could see

The true feelings beneath this mask

Oh, if only you could feel…

 

I’ve loved you through the sands of time

Across the planet’s planes

Missing something deep in my heart

With your blood running through my veins

 

So, I sit here looking at you smile

Wondering if you will ever truly know

What you feel inside is real

Then my heart gives me a strong message

When time is right you WILL feel…

copyright 2012 by Sanela Kubiak. All rights reserved.

Morning Dream

This dream is haunting me... in a good way... Enjoy this little piece of my heaven. :)

I opened my eyes to the curtains dancing on a gentle summer's breeze. The aroma of ocean's salty mist tickled my nose, and I stretched, like a cat after a long nap, making ruffles in white silky sheets, looking around absorbing the beauty of my room. Daisies, beautiful flowers, he himself cut for me the previous day, were on the desk next to the window with some magazines spread around. The room was simple, yet beautiful with the serene feeling all around. I heard familiar music playing in the kitchen and the sweet scent of fresh cut fruit and French toast with freshly brewed coffee made me feel hunger. I got up and wrapped my body in a silky smooth sheet I was covered with and walked to the kitchen slowly. I caught the glimpse of myself in the mirror and thought to myself how happy I looked, with my morning messy hair and a white shiny glow around me. I realized how beautiful I felt at the moment and I knew deep inside there was no other place I would rather be... I peeked my head through the opening of the kitchen and there he was in all his glory, wearing only his pajama pants, I could see the outline of all the magnificence of his body in the sun light.  Sun rays were playing on his smooth muscles of his chest creating beautiful shadows where my fingers teased and caressed his skin the night before. His arms were flexing while cutting sweet juicy watermelon in tiny bite size cubes. His angel voice singing my favorite song melted my heart, his lion-like pouncing on the floor to the beat of the music made me want him that much more… He looked up, his striking chocolate brown, almond shaped eyes revealed pure love. He’s smile brightened the room, his husky voice sent chills through my body as he said: “Good morning beautiful, hope I didn’t wake you up”.  I smiled and nodded as to say no. With the grace of a wild cat he walked toward me, grabbed my arms and started kissing me, holding me, stroking my back and my arms. The time stopped, there was nothing else, just him and I, in that kitchen, surrounded by splendor and passion….

copyright 2012 by Sanela Kubiak. All rights reserved.

The sweet fragrance of Cinnamon

I wrote this on the DC website as the challenge was to recreate a smell or taste that takes you back.... I didn't really think it was any good, but people there liked it; so here it is. :)

            Oh, yes, the smell of cinnamon.  Every time I smell cinnamon I go back in time to when I was a little girl.  I remember our little kitchen/pantry like I am standing in it at this very moment.  Many days when I was growing up, I would wake up to the sweet spicy aroma and I would know exactly what was happening in the kitchen.  I would jump out of my bed and run in the kitchen to greet my mom.  And, as always she would be standing in the kitchen busy cooking.  First I would stand right in the doorway and just take in the scent of the cinnamon mixed with sugar.  I would look around throughout our little kitchen.  Right of me was our little table that had four mismatched chairs.  On the table, right in the middle was always this little yellow plastic napkin holder.  Right next to the table was our old fridge with scratches going down on both sides of it. The top of the fridge was full of pots and pans stacked neatly.  The wall on the far right accommodated the sink and cabinets.  I remember them being this reddish brown color with bright white handles.  And of course in front of me was this little window looking out in our yard and our shed that held the tools for our little garden.  At the end of the little tour of our little kitchen to the left of me was just enough room for the old wood and coal stove.  By this time my mom would notice me standing in the door and she would say: “Why don’t you close the door and stay awhile?” She would smile at me and point to the table for me to sit.  After I would sit at the table my mom would bring homemade crepes stuffed with cinnamon and sugar.  The second round would be the ones stuffed with euro cream.  It is one of the sweet memories I have from my childhood and I have learned to make those for my own kids.  I guess it is kind of a little family tradition when it comes to the sweet crepes. 

The New "Old Bridge"

Old Bridge or, if you say it in the native language, Stari Most, was one of the oldest structures in my country. The construction began in 1557 and lasted nine years. It is said to have been completed in the period of 1566/67. The greatest architectural work of its time connects two parts of the old town of Mostar, the city that was named after it. Upon its completion it was the widest man made arch in the world, standing about forty feet tall at its highest point. This timeless, beautiful architecture made of stone stood there for 427 years, crossing the most stunning river you will ever see, Neretva. Allowing only pedestrians over, this bridge stood there in all its glory until it was destroyed in November of 1993 during the ethnic cleansing war in Bosnia and Herzegovina. The story I am going to tell you is about a little girl nicknamed Zela who grew up there, and what this magnificent bridge and this stunning city meant and still mean to her.

This was my favorite place to be. I remember, on many occasions, telling everyone I was going to move there as soon as I finish school, regardless of anyone’s objections. I was very proud to be hercegovka (a girl from Herzegovina) and the plan was to spend the rest of my life there…

The majority of my childhood memories are connected to this mystical place. No matter where I was, I could always smell the dry air, feel the heat on my skin, and see this striking bridge and old town in my head. My life there was filled with fun and amazing memories, among them my first broken heart. Most days I spent with my cousin Amina, who happened to be only five months younger than me. We did everything together, from sharing the same bed, eating all meals together, watching our little cousins, and of course getting in trouble together.

Summer days were spent down by the river. All the neighborhood kids knew to meet down there each day. The path going down to the river is very steep and on the edge of a cliff. The cliff is about fifty or sixty feet above water, so we had to be real careful walking down. We had to remain alert not to fall. No one ever did, but there was always that fear that we could. Going down the path, I could smell ripened figs and of course I looked around and picked some to eat on the way. Wild flowers were all around, sometimes reaching two to three feet tall. As I got closer to the bottom, I could see the paved platform through the trees and could definitely hear my friends talking. As we emerged from behind this huge rock that was blocking the view I could see everyone was already there, swimming, and enjoying the day.

Zlatko, a sixteen-year-old, dark haired boy, whom I had known for most of my life, came with his arms wide open to give me hug. As he called my name, everyone else turned around to greet me. This was the first time this summer that I saw them, so it was very special. Of course they all came to Indira and me to see us, chat, and just enjoy the company.

Then I saw this new kid sitting on a boulder. He was so handsome; he had brown spiky hair, nice luscious lips and brown eyes that were tentatively looking at me. My face got hot, I got a bit light headed and sweaty… I knew I was blushing big time. I turned around to walk back to the paved opening when Sasa greeted me and took one look at me; he slightly turned to look behind me, and with a smile on his face said:

“I see you met Elvis.”

I looked down sheepishly and said quietly, “I did not meet him, I just saw him. Who is he anyway?”

“He is a new kid in the neighborhood. He actually lives across the street from you, you can see his window from yours, over Nada’s little house.”

“Oh”, is all I could say.

We went on visiting, chatting and laughing. After we all moved to the other side of our little hand- made pond where it was still sunny, I found out the cute boy was Elvis C. He was seventeen, an only child and also joined kayaking with the rest of the clan. I kept looking over to where he was sitting and every time I did I would catch him looking at me. Most of my friends saw this too and eventually they decided they should just bring him to meet me. Even though I did not agree with their decision, deep inside I was glad. He came over smiling, shook my hand and introduced himself. I remember very clearly my heart skipping few beats at the warm touch of his hand. I didn’t know this at the time, but this summer was going to be the best and the worst time of my young teenage years.

The next day my uncle took me fishing. We got everything ready and walked down to join his friends. After we set everything up I got my fishing pole, put bait on, and cast my rod. To my surprise it went over the big boulder that was to the left of me and got stuck on something. I tugged at it, and as I was trying to figure out what to do, a red kayak showed up. I looked up ready to complain, just to realize it was Elvis, and the hook from my fishing pole was stuck on his kayak. First, I was embarrassed, but shortly after everyone saw what happened, we all started laughing. My uncle helped me “unhook” Elvis so he could go on with his training, but not before he secretly winked at me and made my heart skip few beats. Then everything went back to normal, or, so I thought.

For the next few days, Elvis and I started hanging out. In the beginning it was just at our meeting place, down by the river, but before long it turned out to be an all day, every day thing. We became best friends. I can’t say I didn’t like it, but as soon as I wanted to go out after dinner to hang out with my new best friend, whom I secretly fell in love with, I was told no. There were many nonrealistic explanations of why I couldn’t, which did not make any sense, until one day the truth came out. “You are a girl, and we don’t want the neighbors to start talking”, my family said to me. I was very hurt that no one believed or listened to what I had to say. We were friends and I wanted to spend time with all of them. That was it, all of it. There was no hidden truth here.

So for the next month or so, I became very angry with my family for not trusting me. Every time I left home I was told to be careful and not hang out with my “boyfriends” because that would give me a reputation, and not a good one at that. I was furious. For nobody trusted my judgment or believed me. I then realized my brother, who was only eleven, had a girlfriend. I confronted my parents: “How come Dario is allowed to have a girlfriend and I can’t even spend time with my friends down by the river?”

“Aren’t they cute together”, was not the response I expected at all.

“No, they are not cute together. They are only eleven. I wasn’t even able to be alone with a boy when I was that age. What is wrong with you people? How can you have such different rules for us? It is not fair!” I complained.

Nothing I said made any difference. I could have ranted on until I was blue in face, it would have not changed anything. Sitting in my room crying for days made me become more independent and rebellious, as well. I snuck out to be with my friends. One day Amina and I told our parents we are going to the library when we actually went into the old town to meet our friends on the Old Bridge. I remember standing in the middle of the bridge feeling free. The wind was blowing through my long hair, the sweet smell of an ice cream shop, different flavors of grilled food from surrounding restaurants, even sweet fruit aromas coming from piazza made me realize it was a bitter sweet moment. This bridge witnessed everything, from a young girl, with no worries, living a care free life to this same young girl becoming a woman where everything changes. It felt good that I was smart enough to find a way to be with my friends, but I also felt betrayed and sad that I had to lie to my family to accomplish that.

Four years later I was living in Copenhagen, Denmark, as a war refugee, when I watched the Old Bridge get bombed and eventually crumble into the river. The noise of flying bombs with the blast of them exploding, once they hit the arch of the bridge, and clatter of the stones falling into the roaring river I will never forget. I sat there in front of the TV hugging my little girl and crying. There was just this numbness. I could not believe what was happening. The moment that bridge fell, many memories went through my head. Finally, my childhood was gone. At that instant I have lost part of my life, my first love, my happy place. Part of me was gone. As a nineteen-year-old mom of an eight-month-old little girl, I had lost so much that day. Thinking about my friends and wondering if they were still alive, or if they were there fighting, made the old memories of happy mischievous times overcome my body and my soul. I recalled that bitter-sweet day when I hugged my little girl a little harder as I whispered in her ear: “I will never treat you different just because you are a girl, and I promise you that I will try my best to be a good mom and to have a loving relationship with you!”

The Old Bridge was rebuilt and finally, after eighteen years, I had enough courage to go back to visit. Since the bridge is only five minutes away from the house, I went there every day. Usually, I had to go to the Internet Café so I could talk with my family who stayed in the US. After my chat with everyone I would get ice cream, a different flavor each time, and just go to the middle of the bridge to stand there and savor everything.

The actual structure of the bridge was new; kind of white and shiny and not as slippery as the old one. The wind still felt the same in my hair and all the flavors surrounding the area still smelled the same. I would close my eyes and go back in time when everything was much simpler, when I was a young girl meeting my friends there, and yes I could still see my first love’s handsome face smiling at me.

People there have not changed much. Even though I am thirty-five years old and I can take care of myself, my uncle still called every night to check up on me and make sure I was safe. I often think about my promise to my little girl. She is almost eighteen, just a bit younger than I was when I made that promise. I can honestly say that I have kept it all these years. Partly, because life in America is somewhat different than in Bosnia, but mostly because I did not want her to go through the same pain of being a girl growing up in Bosnia, not being able to do things just because she is a girl, as I did.

copyright 2011 by Sanela Kubiak. All rights reserved.

*** *** *** ***

A friend read this quote to me last night and it just "hit" me in the right way... I hope you like it.

We write to be able to transcend our life, to reach beyond it.  We write to teach ourselves to speak with others, to record the journey into labyrinth, we write to expand our world, when we feel strangled, constricted, lonely.

~ Anais Nin

...

This is a little piece we had to write for school last year.

My class was taken to the McCutchan Art Gallery at USI-Evansville for observation with a task in mind to pick a piece of art to write a paper on. At first I thought it would be a difficult task to do, but as I walked through the gallery the beauty of art and my classmates made it a unique and enjoyable experience. Most of the paintings were abstract naked women, which in itself was pretty and very colorful.
I was more or less briefly looking at the pictures across the rooms to see if something would catch my eye. And it did. I saw this little picture, maybe 5”x7” in size. My original attraction to this piece was the beautiful colors of the sunset. I went closer to see the details, and I was pleasantly surprised. It truly spoke to me. It reminded me of the place where I walk daily; My special place, The River Paradise.
An interesting thing about this piece is I could completely visualize myself right there standing in the middle of this two way road. Tall naked trees on both sides, branches touching in the middle above the road, making it look like a tree tunnel. I was looking at a sunset through those trees. Intense red, orange, yellow and blue sky took my breath away. There is a car in the distance with its break lights on, tall grass on the left side of the road and a field on the right side. I could even imagine the river behind the grass.
“As soon as I saw this picture I thought of you”, I was brought back to reality by my classmates voice. I looked at her with a confused look on my face.
“It reminds me of the story you wrote about River Paradise. That is the first thing that came in my mind when I saw it”.
I knew exactly what she was talking about, because that is the very same thing I thought about. Her comment made me feel really good and all fuzzy inside. My original story and this picture of U.S 41 in Indiana were the connection between the two different places, both in Indiana, and among the two people who see beauty in this world the same way.

copyright 2011 by Sanela Kubiak. All rights reserved.

The Unfinished Tale

She looks outside her window into the dark and rainy night, and she sobs quietly. The night reminds her of that first night when she went to meet him. She is crazy in love with him, she is aware of the fact that she cannot be with him at this time, but she still really misses him…

She was waiting for his call that night; she went out for a long drive just to take her mind off of him, but distractions never work for her. He was there the whole time, playing inside her mind, making her think about “what if’s”, making her wish for things she didn’t know she wanted… Finally, 11pm came and the sound of her ringtone broke the silence in the car. She looked up at her phone and saw his name flash across the shiny surface of the screen. Adam. She held her breath for few seconds knowing she should answer her phone before it went into her voicemail. With butterflies in her stomach she reached for the phone, excited and nervous, “Hello”, she answered.
Deep, soothing, gentle, yet very sexy voice came in, “Hi Sannia, I just got off of work. Do you still wanna do something tonight?”
“Yes, I'd love to”.
“What do you want to do? You wanna go out and grab something to eat, or get a drink, or do you want to come over to my place and just hang out?”
“Oh, I don't care, I'm easy”, Sannia said.
The moment she said it, she realized what she said. How embarrassing. For once she was so happy and glad nobody was there to see her blush.
“I mean, I'm not easy, I...”
Adam laughed and said: “I know what you meant.... I didn’t think you were easy… You wanna come and meet me here and then we can decide what to do?”
Without any hesitation she said: “um, ok, I can meet you there”.
“Give me 15 min to take a shower”, Adam replied with a smile in his voice.

After he gave her his address, she drove a little longer, just not too look like she was impatient to see him again, she went to his place. She got out of the elevator and right across the hall was apartment 305. She got nervous and shy and went toward the door. She hardly touched the doorbell, and he was right there opening it. Adam charmed her with a huge smile on his face, like he always does. She was so happy; it’s been over two years that someone was glad to see her. She walked in, took her shoes off by the door and he was eager to show her everything. She saw the aquarium on the counter with two beautiful fish in it. She has never seen this kind before, so she questioned him. Once again he flashed his beautiful smile....
”They’re Japanese Koi fish”. “This is ... and this is his girl...”
She completely lost the names of the fish, preoccupied with her own thoughts, but she loved them anyway...

“You wanna see my place?” Adam asked.
“Sure”, she smiled shyly.
“Well, this is my living room”, he said facing the room.
There was a white cream couch full of pillows on the opposite wall from where she was standing... she saw his laptop on the table next to it, TV and stereo across the room...
“I ordered this big black and white painting, it will go above the couch”, his voice penetrated her thoughts. “I want it above the couch, you think it would look good there?” he asked.
“Yes, I'm sure it will be great”.
He moved to the side and she followed. “This is my bedroom”.
She froze in the doorway, she couldn’t breathe. It was the bedroom from her dreams... the bed with all white bedding....white curtains gently moving in the spring breeze. He was standing in the middle of the room and talking....just like the man she kept seeing her dreams. “Are you ok?” Adam said walking toward her.
“Yes”, she said quietly, looking at the floor.
He moved again to the next room, “This is the bathroom” he said smiling.
She looked around, it was spotless, and everything was neatly placed on the sink. She saw him take the hair spray to fix his hair. He smiled again while saying: “Sorry, I didn't have time to finish when you showed up”.
She smiled back shyly...he got excited… “Sannia, wanna see the best part of this place?”
“Sure”, she looked at him with little butterflies fluttering in her stomach. He took her hand and walked her to the balcony. His apartment was looking over the pool. They stood on the balcony in the moonlight... The sky was full of shimmering stars. He talked; she listened, mesmerized with his voice. While looking at the pool, she imagined herself there... with him… She smiled to herself…
He touched her shoulder bringing her back to reality... and she was so glad it was dark; he couldn’t see her blushing over the fantasy she was just enjoying. They went inside and he offered her to sit on the couch. They started talking, and shortly after he offered her a drink.

“Just ice water please”, Sannia responded. He got up and walked inches away from her, almost ran to the kitchen... She followed him with her eyes... Oh my gosh, those jeans look great on him, and that butt... He has a bubble butt, she thought, blushing... Just like the man from her dreams… OH, she got embarrassed when she realized he caught her looking at him, her face reddened even more, but this time it was so big... she felt so hot inside... Adam came back and took a seat next to her, didn’t say a word... He gave her the water. While she couldn’t look at his eyes, she still reached for her glass....their hands touched... There was this incredible shock that went through her body... He pulled back and sat on the opposite side of the couch...

They started talking again...first it was sort of weird, like everything they said had a double meaning. She was careful with her words, despite the fact that her mind was playing tricks on her. She couldn’t get the images of him and her together out of her head. Slowly, they got so comfortable being together, they kept talking about everything and anything. At one point he said he was surprised how tremendously they got along. About four hours later, they felt like they have known each other all their lives...

She got tired and by the look on his face he was getting more tired by a minute. Strangely, neither of them really wanted to separate. There was something so calming and comfortable between them. He mentioned he was about to crash and it was definitely time for her to go home. She got up to leave and he followed her. There was some strange tension in the room at that moment. She put her shoes on and turned around to say good bye. Oh, she sighs loudly... Adam was right there behind her, his face is only inches away, and the look on his face, mischievous smile… there is something there... she doesn't understand it. Quickly she looked down, and with yet another beautiful smile on his face he said: “I'll walk you out”.

“OK”, she nodded. He walked her all the way outside and they started talking some more. She knew she should be leaving... It's 1:30 am. He reached out to her and gave her a hug... She hugged him back. They stood there and they talked some more. All of a sudden she realized they were still holding each other, he had his arms around her shoulders, the warmth of his hands was soothing, yet exciting to her. She was still holding unto his shirt around his waist. And they kept talking…
He didn’t want to let her go, and by now it was really raining outside. The sound of rain drumming on the cars and the trees was very soothing.... She felt like she belonged in his arms and she really didn’t want to go; but she must...They stood there in the timeless moment, talking… and for the first time she really saw his eyes, beautiful hazel eyes were smiling at her. She rose on her tippy toes and gave him a quick kiss on the lips, and as she was ready to turn around to leave he grabbed her little harder, took her face in his hands and gave her an amazing kiss... She lost control over her body and kissed him back. She was completely aware of all her surroundings; the sound of the rain, the wet spring air she could smell, the aroma of his cologne… His touch was reaching deep inside her soul. His kiss was so sweet, so gentle, so passionate... She could feel his heartbeat; she could almost hear her heart pounding in her chest... “How could this be? What is this feeling?” she asked herself in her mind. They finally separated from their kiss, so they could catch their breath. While he was still holding her, he whispered in her ear: “You need to go home... and… I need to see you again. Please, promise you will come back....”
“Yes”, she said softly...”I will be back”...
He hugged her one more time and held her just a little bit longer. Then he let her go. One last loving kiss he shared with her...
“Please be careful driving home, it's wet... Call me as soon as you get home...ok?”
She grinned... “Yes dad... I will call you when I get home”... He chuckled.
As she walked away she felt his gaze upon her body and she turned around. He was smiling and not at all hiding his attraction for her.
“Sannia”, he called out to her.
“Yes?”
“You do have a very nice butt btw”, he said grinning.
She smiled back bashfully, got in her car and started driving...

She couldn’t exactly figure out what just happened... Her lips were burning from his kiss, her whole body was awoken. This was something she has never experienced before, she was afraid. No, she was terrified… But she was so willing. This time was different, she was ready to give LOVE one more chance...

copyright 2011 by Sanela Kubiak. All rights reserved.

At Last

This is what comes out of my mind on a lonely, late night...REVISED Nov 15th 2012. This is for all my "50 Shades" friends. :)   

She spent hours on the plane anxiously waiting to see him... So much time in the last six months was spent talking to him online, on the phone, throughout various means of communication and she has finally agreed with him to meet. But this time it would be different, in person... Just the mere thought of seeing him in front of her sends butterflies to her belly. Will he kiss her when he sees her? Would his hug be as gentle and strong as she has imagined? Would he actually like her? The thoughts of him made her blush. The pilot’s voice comes through the speakers, pulling her out of the dreamland, announcing the arrival time should be in ten minutes. “Please, fasten your seat belts and remain seated until the plane has landed and we come to a complete stop”. She smiles nervously and spends the next few minutes daydreaming. Again.

The noise from other passengers on a flight LR612 brings her back to reality once again. She gathers her bags and anxiously starts walking out with the rest of the travelers.

As she comes out of the hallway that connects the plane and the terminal she searches for him. As soon as she sees him waiting, he looks up, their eyes meet and there is instant attraction between them. He smiles... The huge stir of excitement and mysterious flows through her body and she runs to him. He opens his arms and takes her in. Yes, his hug is everything she has imagined, she smiles looking up at him... He cannot control his urge any longer, he has waited way too long for her touch, and for her kiss...  bending down he kisses her... The time stops, she gets week in her knees, but his strong arms hold her tight. He lifts her off the floor kissing her until they both lose their breath... Suddenly he stops, holds her beautiful face in his hands and says: “I'm never gonna let you go”.

Tiny whisper from his lips reaches her ear: “I have been waiting so long for you to come into my life and now that you're here it feels so unreal. You are so much more than I hoped for. I want you baby... I can't wait any longer; you have been everything on my mind for months...”

She smiles and says quietly: “Yes.... take me home”.

After finally settling into the cab, on their way to his home, they retreat into each other’s arms, just quietly talking and not trying to think of what will happen next. With arrival to his little apartment; he takes her bags and lets her in. She looks around... Apartment’s stark white walls are staring at her as to say you're here, you're finally here… She can feel his presence when he comes in after her. Approaching her from behind, he hugs her again, almost scared that she will vanish; his kisses caress herbeautiful neck gently... The kiss sends goose bumps down her back as she turns around to meet his lips. Yes, those luscious lips she imagined kissing so many lonely nights... With yet another soft kiss he whispers hoarsely: “Don't ever leave”.

There is no pretending any more, she needs him. The hunger for him prevails over everything else at the moment. There is no more inhibition, she starts kissing him...slowly at first...but the temperature rises slowly all around them. They become more aware of their surrounding... Every little moan becomes tenser.... she wants him; she doesn't want to wait any longer... She proceeds by taking his shirt off and tossing it on the floor. Taken aback by his lean, athletic, sexy body she quivers. Every little muscle on his chest and abdomen tensing as he moves toward her sends arousal to her body. His strong muscular arms are so hot, she thinks to herself. His body gets closer to her, its warm... so sexy... Her breath speeds up considerably. Gently he lifts her up, kisses her soft lips and caries her away to his room. Kissing her lips affectionately makes her desire him even more.  Tenderly he lays her down on his bed unbuttoning her red silky shirt, reveals her red bra... His tongue slithers down to her chest, and she moans... Without thinking and with every bit of their body consumed by craving they undress each other and their bodies tangle into one. Their kisses and their touch become zestier; they are two entities, burning with desire...

Their lips unite once more giving each other their only breath. Look in his eyes pleads with her desperately. Nodding her head slightly gives him reassurance that she wants him just the same. Meager smile on those delicious lips send trembles down her body making her wet. It’s almost like he can smell her wetness his fingers find their way there down to her sex. His hand cups her sex with fingers gently stroking her wetness. The warmth of her sacred juice makes his head hazy. She squirms and soft moans escape her sweet lips bringing his attention back to her beautiful succulent mouth.

“You are so beautiful”, words flow inaudibly from his lips.  Those stunning, almond shaped, brown eyes that she loves so much darken with passion. Holding her close, his lips caress hers, moving to her neck, than down to her gorgeous breast leaving wet trail on her skin where his tongue touched. His teeth gently nibble her hard aroused nipples making her whole body quiver. Slowly following her curves with his hands and mouth he reaches her moist aroused sex. Grasping her bottom with his hands while skilled tongue strokes, kisses and licks her sacred lips sends her body and mind into deep animal primal instinct overrun with sensations she has never felt before. Cry from her lips leads him into that same primal drive for survival. Leisurely he moves up her body taking in every little curve, dimple, imperfection, making her so perfect and beyond beautiful in his mind. With his lips on hers, tongues entangled their bodies unite... “Ohh”, both groan with inevitable hunger for each other. She feels his hard erect manhood inside her; with all her senses on overload, she moans more deeply, while he embraces her in his arms. He holds her close, kisses her lips, her neck, her breast. She grabs him tighter and she kisses him back; stirring under him, their bodies become one. They modify their moves to the same rhythm... it’s incredible, magnificent, like neither of them have felt before. They move passionately to the sound of music only two of them can hear, their bodies hold each other, intertwined. He moves like a gracious cat thrusting deep inside her and she follows his lead. United moans escort them to the next level, there is no going back. All there is right now is them... experiencing... loving... bonding. They belong to a brand new universe where there is only passion and ecstasy. His pushing in and out quickly makes her body shake and ready to explode. Leaving her lips for a moment he whispers: “Give yourself to me, let go”. And with that one cue she releases her thirst for him sending him into convulsion. With one last deep thrust, his body tenses and he explodes inside her merging their sacred juices. Gently he collapses on top of her holding her tight.

Next, he slides gently out of her crafting one last moan escape her lips and they lay next to each other still holding cozily. His gentle caressing of her skin makes her snuggle closer to him. Inhaling the sweet cherry blossom scent from her hair he huskily whispers: “I love you babe”, and they drift slowly into peaceful nights slumber.  

copyright 2010 by Sanela Kubiak. All rights reserved.

Touched

A friend of mine wrote this. Please give him some encouragement to keep writing.

I found you there, in my dream,
Standing on oaken tower stairs.
You were walking up toward me
Pausing only one step away, just to smile.

I wasn't sure, having just only arrived,
Why it was we were there in that space.
I only knew that as the clouds swam
Through the air and your eyes, I was Home.

In an ageless moment I took in the way the Helios glint
Washed soft over your smooth, tinted skin,
And the dance He played on your long burnished hair
Was akin to his twilight gasp on dark water.

I had known you for seconds and all of my life
By the gentleness coming forth from your eyes.
The purse of your lips as they stepped up from below
Soon met mine in a tender embrace.

My soul sang with your warmth as you drew close,
Our arms drawing us tenderly tight.
For all of my life I have sought such a connection
To bring meaning to dark, empty nights.

This was a Dream, and yet what is real?
I asked myself quietly as I awoke.
I turned to the window and out to the Night
Wondering your name, and if you lie awake, touched.

copyright 2010 by Nathan Frens. All rights reserved.

THE CURTAIN CALLS

I did not write this, but I think it's very good. I finally got an OK to post it.

As he watches the curtain fall
His life and his dreams torn
He feels his love and lust call
Alas he thinks, Nevermore

One last valiant effort he gives
Complete with roses and rhyme
He professes without her he cannot live
Nothing he does can undo what happened over time

He experiences remorse and regret
He has no hatred for soulmates have none
The love he lost he can never forget
He hopes and he dreams once again two will be one

Try and try again there is no surrender
He sees her confusion and for solution he vows
There is no use he is not a pretender
The strength of his love not even heaven knows

He shows her paths to an answering
She is receptive to his changes and newness
He recalls the choices and all the meandering
He reassures it is nothing new but mearly self awareness

Once again she shares a loving kiss
She thanks him for his compassion and caring
He is reminded of what he painfully does miss
Alas the curtain may fall but for true love there is no comparing

copyright 2010 by PEKubiak. All rights reserved.

Orange and a Car

We had this assignment in school and I think it turned out "cute". lol.

Orange is a citrus fruit that we eat, and a car is wheeled motor vehicle which we use for transportation. They don’t sound anything alike you might think, or do they? They are similar in so many ways, but most people will never think of it when you just mention the actual words. You need to look much deeper into both to realize how different they appear to be, and yet how similar they really are. Both of these items might be orange in color, and many cars can also smell like oranges. Oranges originated in Southeast Asia, and so did many car models. Orange is round in shape, and lately many car models have very rounded shapes to them.

Just recently I was visiting some relatives in Japan, and we decided to go visit a car show. Let’s talk about some amazing eye candy here, but I have to admit my favorite was the Orangemobile. When I saw it, I just had to check into this. They were even offering test drives. Of course my friend and I had to go for one. Orangemobile goes from 0 mi/hr to 65 mi/hr in 4.6 seconds. The outside shell of the car looks just like an orange, the fruit. The paint has texture on it to resemble the actual peel. When you open the door to get in, it looks like you are peeling an orange. The interior is orange in color and the seats are actually gel filled. The interior smells very citrusy. Driving the Orangemobile actually makes you hungry for some juicy fruit.

You see, they seem to be very different at a first glance, but the new technology was able to combine the two and make it very enjoyable for us, the consumers. If nothing else, both of these things make us happy. One satisfies our hunger for a healthy meal and the other satisfies our hunger for speed. In this wonderful world you just have to believe that anything is possible.

copyright 2010 by Sanela Kubiak. All rights reserved.

from "Afterglow"

... The touch of his hands was burning my skin. I felt his touch deep inside me; I felt it inside my soul... I couldn't comprehend exactly what was happening, but I knew I didn't want it to stop, ever. I yearned for his touch for so long, I wanted him... All of him... I closed my eyes and took in this feeling. I felt it with my whole body. I always wanted to remember.

I opened my eyes and looked at him. At that moment our gazes locked, he was holding my face in his hands and before I could realize what was happening, he kissed me...His lips touched mine; his fingers went through my hair and stayed there inside my curls. I could feel his hand go down to my neck and it kept sliding down my back, caressing my skin under the layers of clothing I was wearing. His hand stopped at my waist and he pulled me closer to him. He never stopped kissing me. My hands moved against my will and ended up in his hair. My fingers locked there. I couldn't stop myself, I tried... He kept kissing me again and again. His kisses reached deep inside my soul. I was lost. Time did not exist anymore. It was just him and me. His kisses and my desire. My desire that took over my body and my mind and every little piece of my soul. I was lost somewhere in time. Someplace only your deepest thoughts and desires can take you. I couldn't breathe... His lips were so gentle yet burning with desire and his kiss... his kiss was so sweet, so passionate... Nothing I have ever imagined before could come even close to what I felt. He stopped kissing me while his arms were still wrapped around me. I caught my breath for the moment...

copyright 2010 by Sanela Kubiak. All rights reserved.

The River Paradise

It was little over a year ago, in August of 2008 when I first went down by the river. It was my friend Amy whom I met on “Evansville Moms” just couple of weeks before who called me to go out and have lunch with her and actually meet in person. She was a newcomer to Indiana as much as I was. I came to live in Newburgh with my family just a month prior and she had already been there for three months. After we were done eating she asked me if I knew about the little thrift stores located in the downtown Newburgh.
“No” I replied. I didn’t even know where downtown was located.
“You want to go now?” she suggested.

That was enough for me. I eagerly accepted the offer. I followed her in my car and I tried to remember the way so I could get back home. It turned out to be a straight shot from where we were. We visited all the stores in the downtown area and I got really excited about “The Secret Garden” store. I still go to that store from time to time just to check all the new merchandise and of course to daydream. But it wasn’t until she took me all the way down State Road where it crosses Water Street that I completely got lost in the beauty of the river front.

I stood there on the edge of the little cement wall under this beautiful gigantic tree which was so full and so green, that you could not see any light peek through the branches. This gorgeous tree stood there on top of that steep hill, an epitome of time. To the left of me there were eight sets of stairs, each set made up of ten steps that lead down to the shore. I stood there blinded by the beauty surrounding me. I watched the sun reflect from murky water. The gentle breeze constructed the ripples in the river which in return fashioned the dancing sunshine over the surface. The sky was lovely shade of darker blue with large white clouds sporadically placed across. I even saw one that resembled a dolphin. It made me smile. I took a deep breath which gave me this resilient feeling of calmness. I knew I was coming back to this place.

The next time I decided to visit the river it was autumn. Beautiful earth colors encircled me. I stood there in amazement looking up at the immense tree. The leaves were now beautiful shades of red and yellow with some green ones showing through. I wouldn’t say it was exceedingly windy but it was definitely windswept. The murmur of rather dry leaves swaying in the tree and others fallen and dancing on the ground was very familiar and yet so new again. The color of the river remained the same, muddy and still wavy and hoven. I couldn’t tell which way it was going. This time the sky was gray with infrequent sunlight coming through. The clouds were darker gray and flowing rather fast up there. But the feeling stayed the same. I was at peace.

For the next couple of weeks life got busy, there was a lot to do in a new place. During this time there was this yearning urge to go back to the river front and this time I wanted to share my experience.
“Hey Alice, come with me, I want to show you something!!!” I told her one day.
“Where are we going?” she whispered.
I smiled, “Come and you will see”.
Needless to say, Alice fell in love with this enchanted place too. It was a mutual agreement between us to start walking right here along the side of the river. We walked every day for about an hour and half. This became “Our Special Place”. We talked, we walked and we bonded. Our schedule changed and we switched to walking at night. Usually it was just the two of us there at night. Not many people are around during night hours. Nights here were very different…

This particular night we came for a walk and we went on, like we normally do. It was very cold and we walked faster than usual. Half way down our path it just became slightly creepy. The air became stagnant and eerie. We heard strange noises, creeks in the naked branches of the trees, unfamiliar squeaks of an animal. There was wailing coming from afar. We kept looking back thinking someone was following us. The cold wind on our face had burning sensation. After a brisk walk we turned around to go back home. Even though the night gave us adrenalin rush we still felt we belonged there. After all it was our place. As we approached a fenced part of the walk we saw a man in his late thirties sitting on the bench and smiling at us. I smiled back as I was passing by him. We walked about 15 feet and we stopped to take a look at the river. The water was dark, almost black and calm. It stood there as an immense, smooth sheet of glass. Something made me turn around to look at the man that was sitting near us. He wasn’t there. I looked in every direction and could not find him. He disappeared.

Another night as we walked a little kitten ran into us. Alice actually walked right into it. He had bright white spotless fur. He let us pick him up and carry him. Very interesting thing about him, he had six toes on his front paws. A strange thing happened next. This little kitten started following us. It walked with us for about three miles. The few people who happened to be there were amazed at how trained he was. I kept telling everyone it was not my cat. We couldn’t resist, we named him Max. A couple tried to get him to go in the car with them, Max followed them but stopped in his tracks right next to my car. He smelled around the car, left his mark and came straight back and joined us for the rest of our walk. Mind you, we were about 100 feet from the car. It was later we heard from some locals that the place where we walk is haunted.

So, I sit here today, 17 months later, in my car and I keep thinking about all the “cool and extraordinary” things I have seen and experienced here and I smile. Rain keeps falling from the sky and everything is sort of gloomy and dark. I watch the rain drops fall and make a beautiful design on the windshield of my car. The river is disturbed, its high tide is reaching up as if to scream ‘look at me, take notice, relish moments like these “. Even though I am not a huge fan of rainy, melancholy days I truly can appreciate the beauty of this place. It gives me immense peace and calmness. When I need to clear my head I come here. As soon as I get stressed and just need some quiet I come here. I cannot explain why, but I am taken by the astonishing beauty of this place and I keep returning to the River Paradise.

“There is always light at the end of the tunnel”, I would say. Even though things sometimes appear to be very dark and scary I try to find at least one good, positive thing in my life and I focus on that. It can be as simple as sunny day, or someone smiled at me at the grocery store, or sometimes I just tell myself “It’s going to be a great day today”, and I try to remember that throughout the day. We all need “something” to get us through, something we can take in and carry on through our days. That something we can only find within ourselves. No one person can tell us what it is, it is different for everyone. This river brings me the peace I need in some of darkest times in my life, but first and foremost you need to look deep inside your soul to find it. As one of my favorite songs “The Greatest Love of All” by George Benson says:

“… I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity
Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all
And if by chance, that special place
That you've been dreaming of
Leads you to a lonely place
Find your strength in love.”

copyright 2010 by Sanela Kubiak. All rights reserved.

Coffee for Three

One warm Wednesday evening my best friend and I decided to be taken out for a cup of coffee by a Shear Genius, as he likes to call himself. My friend Alice and I drove to the nearest Starbucks to meet up with our friend. We arrived there just a little after 7 pm and he planned on coming shortly after work. We sat outside to wait for him so we could order together. As I existed in the moment, I took a closer look at the things surrounding me; rain dwindled to a drizzle now, the air felt a little “sticky”, and every once awhile I would get a whiff of flowers. I could smell the sweet coffee aroma coming out from Starbucks too. As I watched cars go by, driving through the puddles which made water come to life, I thought to myself, everybody is trying to get home for dinner. Everyone wants to reunite with their family after a hard day of work.

Shear Genius came at 7:30 pm and apologized for making us wait. No big deal really, but we were ready to get that appetizing cup of gourmet coffee. The inside of Starbucks remained full of people and I wondered why they all stayed inside. After we ordered our coffee we went back outside to enjoy it. We sat there for an hour or so, just talking and laughing and truly enjoying those little moments that make life so wonderful. After all, that warm Wednesday night happened to stand out as a very beautiful, calm, rainy night spent with friends who appreciate the good things in life.

copyright 2010 by Sanela Kubiak. All rights reserved.

“The Act of Writing”

“There is no ‘right’ method. Any method that will do the job is the right method for you.” I could not agree with this statement more. As long as I can remember I have loved to write, and I guess I had a unique way of doing it. I need my favorite music playing in the background as I write. That is the only way I can do it. Most people don’t understand it, especially when they hear my music is not in English.

There are the benefits for writers when they use a word processor. When I was younger, in primary school, I had many of my notebooks all around house with my writing in them. These days I use my computer for all my writing, mostly because it is so much easier to edit. But every once in a while I will take a pen and a notebook and pour my thoughts on paper. It just feels good to go back to the basics.

So, Welcome my friends, I hope some of my writings give you a little bit of pleasure reading them, because I sure am having fun writing them. Please leave some comments for me too, constructive criticism has never hurt anyone.